Here is the complete poem as written by Delaney:Delaney was a young woman that has died, this is a powerful poem she left behind. It has touched many people. The poem, demonstrates her struggle with a heroin addiction, it was included by her mother in her obituary (so much traffic the online version she posted crashed on Friday) after she found it in her daughter’s journal.
“Funny, I don’t remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a junkie, but I couldn’t accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man’s time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don’t even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own Damn reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don’t want to do this no more !!! “
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Back to Back is how it seemed to happen this time. July 5, 2016. In Baton Rouge, La. Alton Sterling was out on his grind, selling pirated DVDs, in front of a local store. When the police got this disturbance call, saying a homeless person had been threatened. The Store owner Abdulla Muflahi said and from the video captured, we can SEE the officer stick a gun to his chest and then we can HEAR if you move…I swear to God, and then lights out for Mr. Sterling. The store owner, Abdullah Muflahi, told the newspaper, he was not holding his gun or touching his pockets during the incident. The gun was later found in his pocket. Muflahi said he hurried up and put his phone in his pocket, because he didn’t want the police to take it from him. In the video you can see Mr. Sterling’s hands are pinned to his sides, after the killing, you see one of the officers in the video roll off of Mr. Sterling. They kept Mr. Muflahi in the back of police car for 2 hours, and they took his store video surveillance without his permission or a search warrant. Blane Salamoni and Howie Lake II are on paid leave. L.A. (Los Angeles) did you see the way Sterling’s 15-year old son, he just sobbed and cried out for his Dad. It was soooo heartwrenching.
St. Paul, Minnesota (St. Anthony) – Philando Castile on July 6, 2016 was killed by police officer, Jeronimo Yanez. He panicked and shot into a car with a female passenger, and a little four-year old girl in the back seat. He says, I told him to put his hands up, and the female passenger, Diamond Reynolds who was able to record some of what occurred, says “no sir, you told him to get his license and registration.” And then she tells the officer you shot his arm off. L.A….I don’t understand what happened in the aftermath, the delay in getting the paramedics…After being removed from the car, Diamond Reynolds is crying out in to the live stream in the back of police car, but heartbreaking her little four-year old daughter says “its okay, I’m right here with you.” And Mr. Castile is pronounced dead at 9:37 p.m. Over a busted tail light, I can’t.
Dallas Texas – July 7, 2017 Micah X Johnson -During what started out as a peaceful Black Life Matters protest, took an action that would leave 9 wounded and 5 police officers murdered. Micah used tactics learned in the military to deal a death blow, leaving children without fathers, parents without their sons, and wives without their husbands. It was reported by David Brown a Black Police Chief from Dallas, that Micah wanted to kill white people, white police officers, and he had bombs planted. The Dallas Police Department tried to negotiate, but in the end used a robot to blow Micah up. This too is tragic. All of those lives lost including Micah’s it’s so sad.
But, here we are in 2016. I spoke to 10 of my African-American male relatives, and I ask them, have you ever been stop by the police? And, if so did you feel it was it justified. My relatives live in big cities, and some smaller cities, they live or lived in cities like Houston, Chicago, Ardmore, Los Angeles, Dallas, all over. But, they all had been stopped. Some of them had been stopped for speeding, and they were okay with that. However, what they weren’t okay with was getting pulled over in Delaware for no apparent reason, being questioned like a criminal and then the Officer when he finished harassing him, walking away like that was okay. They’re not okay with they fit the description of robbery suspects, or they look suspicious, or getting followed home and harassed in their own driveway, a “You fit the description.” These are professional guys, not bangers. Each time these Black Men know these traffic stops can go bad. This is not new, it just won’t stop. So, Black parents before they give their sons the keys, they are usually giving them the talk. These are the reasons for the other great divide. Something is very wrong when men of all walks of life are constantly being profiled, and stopped and checked, and slammed on top of hoods, suspected of this and that, and more and more MURDERED because, they were selling loosies, CDs, are they fit the description, or just walking, or just driving, because they are African-American. And I’m not going to put the N.Y. Overseers’ name in my post, but trust and believe we do address Black on Black crime.
However, we work and pay taxes, taxes that probably pay your salary for you to “Protect and to Serve,” so I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you don’t kill us! In school believe or not they told us that if we ever got in trouble to find a police officer, we learned about the constitution and our inalienable rights that don’t seem to apply to us.
Most Americans are tired of all the senseless killings. The Black Lives that you take without seemingly a second thought, hurt real people. Family, Commuity we cannot become that we profess to be against. Police officers to please take time to get to know the people in the community you serve. You’ll find great people live there!